Harrison Ford

(Craig)I felt like Harrison Ford a little while ago. I'll tell you why in a minute.

As you know, we have the house up for rent. It's been shown 5 or 6 times now. If it's going to be shown, we get a phone call to let us know the day and time of the showing. Well, guess what I didn't get this morning. A phone call.

As I sat in my robe in front of the computer this morning, I heard voices. Hmmm...maybe it's the neighbors walking by. Nope! It's our realtor bringing someone to see the house!! OK...I'm in the basement, in my robe and that's it (you can use your imagination, or better yet, don't) when I hear the front door open and people walk in. I can only remember four words going through my head at that specific moment. "Ain't this a bitch".
Yeah, it's funny now, but it wasn't then! I ran in a small circle about three times before stopping and saying to myself "I'm trapped"!
So I yell up to the realtor..."is someone there"? (yeah, I know....duh!)
He leans over and looks down the stairs. With a slight chuckle, he says "didn't you get a call"? I respond that I didn't. He apologizes and I tell him not to worry. Show the place but I'll be locked in the bathroom down here. He says that he has another showing for here in 20 minutes. I tell him that I'll slip out in between showings.
So I hear him showing the place. Sounds like a woman and her daughter. They seem to like it! She wants to fill out an application now, because the last three places that she liked, she filled out the paperwork, but was then told that each place had been rented. She likes this one and wants to apply now. I wonder if she heard me applauding from the bathroom? :)
So they leave. I have a few minutes to get out before the next showing. Hurry, hurry!
I look around the house. We've had it spotless for every showing before this one. But for this one: the bed's not made, dirty clothes on the floor and a couple of fresh cat pukes in the spare bedroom. And with all that, we get the first application submitted. Ironic!
So, quick!!!! Make the bed...pick up the clothes....and yes, clean up the puke (ugh).
Throw on some jeans....where's my shirt?? Ok, just throw on a jacket. No time for socks. Put my boots on and out the door.
As I step out the door, I hear his voice...yes, the realtor! He's bringing more people right now! He can't see me yet. He has to turn the corner. I have a few seconds. What do I do???
I run. I run the opposite way, thru the snow, turning the corner, rounding our fence and run all the way to my truck. I felt like Harrison Ford, running thru the snow in the movie "The Fugitive". Why did I run? No clue. Did he, or the people with him see me? Probably. I'm sure he chuckled again if he did see me.
I get to my truck....how funny. The woman and her daughter that were just looking at the house are parked next to me. I see her filling out paperwork. I smile. They don't know it's me. The daughter, probably, 10 or 11, sees me. She immediately locks her door. OK, I don't blame her. I haven't shaved yet and I'm wearing a hoodie. Can you say Unabomber?
I drive away and call Karin. She didn't get a phone call either concerning the showings. So I shared this story with her....whining as to the hell I've been thru already this morning. There was a momentary pause, an eerie silence on the line. Then, it came. No, not just some chuckles. All out snorting, soda-out-your-nose, uncontrollable, hysterical, pants-peeing, crying.....laughter. So, after about a minute of this, I joined in. Laughter is truly the best medicine :)