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Sunday, March 6, 2011

How to Balance the Budget

We have developed a very simple way to balance the budget. Federal, state or any local government can use this technique. Let's watch the infamous "National Debt Clock" run backwards for a change! When it reaches zero and begins to show a profit, then send the profit back to the people!

Are you excited yet? Are you ready to accept the brilliance of this concept? Ok, here we go. Here it is, how to balance the budget...... in two words:


Bowling  Shirts.

YES!! What do you think? Not sold yet? Ok, let us explain.

What entity is the true backbone of this country? Congress?? Hmmm, do they have backbones? No. The Senate? Nah, same as congress. The President? Unfortunately, he is just a puppet. The true backbone, behind the scenes people that get things done, laws passed and us Americans wondering "where the hell did that come from".....are Lobbyists.

Lobbyists make our world go around. Laws are not determined in congress or senate. The lobbyists sell their snake oil to our lawmakers way before they waddle their way into the capital. Deals are made in dark rooms down rough alleys in the gut of Washington D.C. It's time to change that.

Bowling Shirts.

During the super bowl, corporations paid (on the average) $2.7 million for a 30 second ad. Wow. It's time for us, the American people, to stake a claim on this outrageous way to "put the word out".

Bowling Shirts.

Here is how it will work. All Congressmen and Senators will be issued a bowling shirt. Lobbyists cannot contact any member of congress and/or the senate unless the lobbyist has purchased a Lobbyist Intensive Excrement
(aka LIE) patch. The lobbyist can then choose the member of congress or senate that they wish to "negotiate" with. That member of congress /senate will then have the LIE patch sewn onto their bowling shirt. The LIE patch will identify the lobbyist and whom the lobbyist represents. This allows for transparency within the government. If the lobbyists attempts to contact someone and has not purchased the LIE patch, then that lobbyist has broken the law. The lobbyist could choose his or her punishment:
death.....or a WWF cage match with Nancy Pelosi, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Charlie Sheen.

The cost of a LIE patch would be: $40 million per congressman and $80 million per senator, per year. There is a 4 year minimum purchase for the LIE patch. These costs are still a "drop in the bucket" compared to a 30 second super bowl ad.

So let's do the math. That is nearly $70 billion over 4 years via congress, if each had only 1 LIE Patch. Let's limit the number of LIE patches for each congressman/senator to 30. That's $2.1 trillion in earnings by congressman over a 4 year term, and $480 billion by the senators. Nice!

Or here is another option. Change the National Debt Clock. Instead of showing what each "taxpayer" owes, change it to what each "lobbyist" owes. Divide the debt by the number of lobbyists in D.C. That is the fee for the LIE patch. And each year, do the same calculation. If somehow, someway, there is no deficit, then the lobbyists get a free LIE patch....as they have for many years.

  

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